I hope that you are having a kicking day today
Keep in mind these cards are going to be very weak by modern standards, these are designed to work in the Neo format, of the early 2000s, so keep that in mind when scrutinizing the effects and stats, though I am open and looking forward to any and all criticism
(And the Menace doesn't gain you any life, dorks are untapped, and you can't madness for more later.) At least Conqueror's Pledge gives you the chance to kick it for double tokens, not even Bestial Menace can do that
If this card is used as Fusion Material for a "HERO" monster, and sent to the GY or banished: You can draw 2 cards, then discard 1 card
If youre not lucky enough to have a local group, or fancy trying out play with Magic players across the globe, there are a number of options